Dating can be a nerve wracking experience. What’s the other person like? Will you hit it off? Will you have anything in common? What will you wear? Do you look okay? How fancy is the restaurant? What should you eat?

That’s a lot to worry about, not to mention if you’re an individual living with incontinence! Don’t let it get you down. Being prepared, and keeping a few tips in mind, can help take the stress out of the situation and let you confidently enjoy dating…and maybe even have some fun, which is the point of it all, isn’t it?

Be Prepared

Planning ahead and being prepared is half the battle. Ensure that you pack adequate changing, cleaning, and disposal supplies. Many absorbent pads come in small wrapped packages that can conveniently fit inside a pocket or purse.  There are also products that have odor-preventing features which can help you avoid any potentially embarrassing smells, however carrying a small amount of perfume or cologne is a good idea, if not only to help you smell good (just be careful not to overdo it!)  

Be Familiar with your Surroundings

If possible, suggest a restaurant or café that you’re familiar with so that you know where the bathrooms are. This will allow you to easily and conveniently excuse yourself to go to the washroom to change. Another thing to do is double voiding (emptying the bladder twice, 10-15 minutes apart) before your date, which can help you avoid having to frequent the bathroom too often. If you’re stressed about having a severe episode of incontinence, have an escape plan ready. Have a nearby location available where you can take the time to properly clean and change yourself. It’s okay to have a cover story and bring it up early on in the date. Something as simple as texting a friend to give you a call pretending to be a relative who needs to be picked up from the hospital will work fine. Just make sure you let your date know that you’re not ditching him/her and that you would love to have a second date another time (or if you’re not into them, you can simply escape!).

Be Confident

Confidence is attractive! Not only should you be confident for your date, you should be confident in your ability to manage incontinence. You don’t need to bring it up during the date if you don’t want to, and should only bring it up if you feel comfortable doing so. Remember, incontinence is a physiological condition and is nothing to be embarrassed about, just as a person with a severe nut allergy wouldn’t be embarrassed to ask if a dessert contains peanuts.

Be Comfortable

Depending on the severity of your incontinence, there are a large variety of products available. Choose one that you feel comfortable in and isn’t noticeably visible under your pants. If you are required to wear absorbent underwear or an adult diaper rustling sounds can be a concern. Be sure to wear a product that has a cloth-like backing to keep any potential noise to a minimum.  If you plan on doing any physical activities like dancing, bowling, or mini-putting, research products that are designed for active individuals. Wearing the right product in the right size will help you forget you’re even wearing it!

These tips should help you have a fun an enjoyable date. Lastly, remember that your date is looking to get to know you, and if you hit it off with them, the fact that you live with incontinence shouldn’t be a big deal. 

Joining your friends for a sleepover or having one at your place is definitely fun and bound to boost your popularity among other friends. However, if you’re suffering from teen incontinence, having or being part of a sleepover is the last thing you want to do. After all, what will your friends think of you if they ever found out? 

For starters, it’s always best to tell your closest friends about this issue, but that’s another discussion altogether. Yet, it’s not always that easy to take this step, especially if the next sleepover is taking place very soon. So, here are some tips to help you get through a sleepover without anyone finding out.

·         Since you’re a young adult now, you should take it on yourself to set a few trials at home before the actual sleepover. You may need the help of your parents, but at least you’ll be prepared for any sleepover and gain more control over your bladder or bowel movements.

·         Learn how you can clean after yourself discretely. Again, your parents will be able to teach you how, so ask them to do so before you start your self-training session. This will give you more confidence and ensure that you easily tackle your problem.

·         To avoid making a visible mess, suggest everyone to bring their own sleeping bag as this will give the sleepover a camp-like feel. Some of your friends will love this idea and you can probably sell it to the rest by making them a few offers they can’t refuse, such as using your new video game console as much as they want.

·         Just in case, learn how to use incontinence products, such as bed pads, in a discreet way. Find out which ones offer you the best protection and discover how you can secretly dispose of them before anyone finds out. A few helpful ideas are setting your alarm a little early or having your parent or BFF distract the rest while you smuggle these products to the trash.

·         If you’re sleeping over at friend’s place, spend a few minutes learning about your surroundings and where the closest bathroom is. You may also need to pack a flashlight so that you don’t have to switch many lights on your way to the bathroom. Other essentials you should have in your overnight bag are plastic bags for disposing of soiled underwear and disposable incontinence products, wipes to reduce any smells, and extra clothing.

·         If you have been going to a physician to help you with your incontinence issues, you can ask if you’re eligible to start medication. If your doctor prescribes any medication, make sure that you start taking it a few days before your upcoming sleepover. Doing so will help you assess whether or not they actually work.

These tips will be more effective than forcing yourself to empty your bladder and bowels every time. So, remember and follow them if you want to keep your condition a secret. However, always remember that you should trust at least one of your closest friends so that you can bear the weight of this issue easily and be able to face the rest of the world with confidence.

Telling anyone about your urinary or bowel movement incontinence may be the last thing on your mind. After all, you never know how people may perceive this issue and react to it. However, there will be times when you’d need to tell someone, especially since you’re still going to school and don’t have your parents morally supporting you there.

Now before you start reading how you can talk to your friends about incontinence, you need to prepare yourself first. Start by practicing what you’d say in front of the mirror, your parent or an older sibling. The latter two options will be more feasible since you can always bounce ideas off them. Another thing you should do is keep assuring yourself that this is no fault of yours. This is important because if you falter or look guilty while telling your friends, they may believe that you did something to cause it.

Once you’re done with these, follow these tips to let your friends in on your big secret.

Do Your Research Despite suffering from teen incontinence, even you don’t know everything there is. So, start learning more about this issue in case someone asks you a question. The more you know about incontinence and its types, the better you’ll be able to explain it to your friends. Besides, knowing about your condition will guarantee you the confidence you need while telling your friends. 

Be Confident Confidence is one of the important factors for easily telling your friends about incontinence. If it shows through your posture and speech, you can rest assured that no one will make jokes. In addition, confidence guarantees respect, which is what you deserve for taking such a major step.

Explain that Incontinence Doesn’t Require Diapers Even you may have thought that incontinence required diapers until it hit you. So, you can’t expect your friends not to think the same. While some may bluntly ask if you’re wearing adult diapers, others with a little extra tact may keep their thoughts to themselves. In both cases, make sure to be calm while explaining that incontinence has a wider range of products that is hardly limited to diapers.

Be Serious but Don’t Act as if it’s a Big Deal In 89% of such situations, it’s best if you stay serious but not act as if it’s the end of the world. This will show your friends that this isn’t a major ailment and that it won’t change who you are or what you do. Besides, in many cases, incontinence can be reversible. So, make sure to focus on this point and mention it in your discussion.

These are the main tips you should follow to tell your friends about your bladder or bowel movement incontinence. However, keep in mind that they won’t always work with everyone. You must even be ready to lose friends in the process. Yet, keep in mind that had your friendship been true, they would have overlooked such a small detail. So, be prepared for the worst and focus on valuing the friends who accept you with open arms.