Talking with your daughter about her incontinence may not be a conversation she is comfortable with, nor a conversation that you are keen to have, but it is necessary.  Managing this condition is only going to become more difficult for her, so the more support you can give her the better off she will be. 

Here are a few key tips that may help you when discussing your daughter’s incontinence with her.

Be Patient Don’t let stress from work or the home come into this conversation.  If you become irritated with your daughter, you may limit how openly she is willing to talk about this sensitive and potentially embarrassing issue in her life.  If you think your partner would be better suited to having this conversation with her, then by all means, let him or her.  This is not a popularity competition, so doing what makes your daughter feel the most comfortable and secure about the issue should take priority.

Don’t Lead the Conversation towards Diapers Though adult diapers and other incontinence products will help both of you, bringing them up every time you and your child talk is never a good idea. In fact, if you’re discussing incontinence for the first time, the goal and content of your conversation should be about informing your child about the prevalence of the problem and to persuade them into going to the doctor with you for a medical evaluation.

Read as Much as You Can about Incontinence There is a vast amount of literature online and offline about incontinence.  Read as much as you can on the topic so that you can provide the answers your daughter is looking for. If you get stumped at any point, be truthful and admit that you don’t know about it but are willing to research it with her.

Be Sympathetic Most parents, especially dads, can appear a little less caring while discussing this issue since they believe that sympathy is for the weak. However, you need to keep in mind that your daughter is opening up to you because they trust you and want your help. If you aren’t the least bit sympathetic to their situation, they may close up and refuse to discuss their condition. So, show sympathy throughout the conversation, avoid making any kind of jokes, and be careful of your choice of words around your daughter.

If you daughter gets confrontational, avoid a fight with her, as she needs you in this time of need.   Be sympathetic, empathetic and well-informed to help her manage her incontinence. 

If you’ve noticed that your underwear has traces of feces or drops of urine or if you’re having trouble controlling your bladder or bowels at night, there’s a good chance that you have googled your symptoms and came up with incontinence. 

First of all, calm down; this is a common issue now with over 1 in 10 people suffering from it. Besides, there are numerous ways that can help you reduce the number of accidents you experience. So, you don’t have to rely on incontinence products (which aren’t limited to diapers) forever. However, you can’t keep this information to yourself. Regardless of how embarrassed you feel, you need to have your parents involved.

“Why Should I Talk to My Parents?” Talking to your parents is important because you need moral support during this tough time. In addition, you will need someone to help make your trips to the doctor less stressful. If you think you can take these on yourself, here’s one thing you may not be able to do on your own: talk to your teachers to take it easy on you and not forbid you from going to the bathroom on time.

“How Should I Pull This Off?” If you’re sold to the idea of telling your parents that you have an issue that needs their attention, here is how you can tell them about your incontinence:

·         Choose the Right Time – You need a quiet time to drop this bomb on your parents. After all, you are their baby regardless of whether you’re 13 or 30. Therefore, avoid talking to them right after work or while you’re sharing a meal. Instead, ask them when would be the best time for you guys to talk.

·         Be Serious and Concerned – As a young adult, you may take pride in acting aloof at times. However, this is not one of those times. For your parents to take you seriously, you need to let your concern appear on the surface. In addition, you should avoid jokes or else they’ll believe it’s a one-time issue or, worse, that you’re lying.

·         Be Truthful – Always tell the truth to your parents. After all, they are going to be talking with your physician most of the time and trying to find a solution for your issue. If you lie to them, they are bound to give your doctor the wrong information and put you through numerous trials which may delay your healing process.

·         Expect Anger – Anger can be the first emotion your parents experience when they hear about your issue. However, you need to understand that this anger isn’t at you; it’s for you. As their beloved child, they have tried their best to ensure that you stay safe from everything, but they may feel as if they failed if they don’t have any information on this issue. So, don’t get angry; instead be supportive. You can also help by sharing what you have read about this condition so that they can be a little at ease. 

·         Show Your Parents that You Need Them – Just sharing the news with your parents may not be enough; you need to be subtle and say that you need their support and help to manage this issue.

Even if you feel that your parents don’t care or if they’re too hassled as is to bear with your bad news, you need to keep them in the loop. So, if you haven’t told your parents already, do so right away so that you can get the medical attention and moral support you need.