Talking with your child about incontinence is never easy. However, the task gets harder when your child is a teenage boy. After all, boys don’t listen too well, are less concerned with their physical safety, and don’t wear their emotions on their sleeves. Therefore, you need to know how you can tackle them so that they can learn what they need to know about incontinence.

As this may be new territory for you, here are some tips to help you effectively discuss teen incontinence with your son.

Decide Who Should Do the Talking If your son is closer to your spouse or to one of his siblings, you should entrust them with the task of talking to him. This is important because they know how to communicate best with your son without ruffling his feathers. Besides, he may trust them a little more, which means that he will be a little more receptive to what they say. Remember that this isn’t a popularity competition; so do what is best for your son rather than what gives you more importance in their life.

Be Prepared for a Response While talking to your teenage son, you should expect them to respond to you, maybe even violently if they have developed a strong male ego so early. The key is for you to keep calm and ensure him that this is a common issue that both you and he can manage effectively. You can also explain that he doesn’t need to worry about diapers or anyone finding out about their issue and mocking their condition. However, regardless of what you do, show your son that you have his back no matter what happens.

Read as Much as You Can Boys are more analytical than girls, so expect them to ask different questions about teen incontinence. Read as much as you can on the topic so that you can provide answers. If you get stumped at any point, be truthful and admit that you don’t know about it but are willing to research it with him. Also coax your son to head to the doctor so that they can determine the best way for handling his case.

Be Gentle Even if your son is the opposite of gentle, you NEED to be gentle and empathetic at all times. If you joke about it right from the start, you’re bound to alienate your son and drive them to be aloof. Also consider rehearsing your tone. Using a very formal tone or an extremely friendly one can put your son to shame even if that’s the last thing you need to do.

Discuss Diapers Once and in a Certain Context During your first talks with your son, you need to bring adult diapers in your conversation but not as a solution for their incontinence issues. You should explain that you won’t be putting them in diapers, but they will have to learn how to use incontinence products until they can gain control over their bladder or bowel movements. You can motivate your son and ensure him that he won’t need to use these products once he learns how to fight this problem.

Keep in mind that you may face trouble talking to your son despite these tips. However, you can avoid a major fight and him not listening to you by being gentle, empathetic and well-informed.

Unlike other health issues, incontinence (the inability to control urine or bowel motion) has the biggest effect on teenagers’ psyche. After all, most teens believe that this issue is limited to the frail elderly. Besides, if any of their friends or schoolmates found out, they are bound to be teased relentlessly until they graduate high school. Therefore, as a parent, you need to show your support during this tough time, especially since they will need a non-judgmental ear to share with.

However, as you probably know, teenagers are a little tricky to handle and talk to at times. So, here are five tips to help you become the first person your child turns to for advice.

#1) Stay Calm At All Times - With a busy schedule at work and a lot of cleaning up after your kid at home, it is very easy for you to get hassled and lash out. However, if you lose your temper even once, you are bound to close all the doors to communicating with your teen. So, if you’re prone to feeling that this issue is unsanitary and problematic, get someone (preferably your spouse or an older child) to help you either by talking to your kid or cleaning up their messes.

#2) Don’t Lead the Conversation towards Diapers Every Time Though adult diapers and other incontinence products will help both of you, bringing them up every time you and your child talk is never a good idea. In fact, if you’re discussing incontinence for the first time, your whole conversation should be to inform your child about the problem and coax them gently to go to the doctor with you for a medical evaluation. After your initial talks, keep your conversations on this topic light and tell your kid that you’re open and available to talk about this issue whenever they want.

#3) Pick the Right Timing for Your Discussions This is one of the awkward conversations which your teen may try to weasel out of. However, you can make this discussion beneficial for both of you while doing something your teen enjoys, such as fishing or taking long drives. In fact, go for activities which don’t require eye contact so that your child never feels that they’re under scrutiny. So, plan something fun, even at home, if you intend to bring the topic of urinary incontinence or bowel movement incontinence with your teenager.

#4) Always be Sympathetic Most parents, especially dads, can appear a little less caring while discussing this issue since they believe that sympathy is for the weak. However, you need to keep in mind that your teen is opening up to you because they trust you and want your help. If you aren’t the least bit sympathetic to their problem, they are bound to close up and spiral into depression. So, show sympathy throughout the conversation, avoid making any kind of jokes, and be careful of your choice of words around your teen.

#5) Avoid Letting Any of These Slip Out of Your Lips There are a few things which you should never say in front of your teen, such as the following:

·         “I am so sick of cleaning up after you. Wear your diapers already!”

·         “Why can’t you control yourself?!”

·         “Why are you punishing me like this?”

·         “No more liquids for you from now on!”

·         “I’m so embarrassed by you. I can’t take you anywhere.”

·         “You’re going to wear/use incontinence products your whole life.”

Anything along these lines will hurt your teenager’s already fragile feelings, so avoid them at all costs if you don’t want a rift between you and your child.

So, remember these tips at all costs so that you can easily communicate with your child and discuss teen incontinence with ease.