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Dating while incontinent

2/26/2014

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Dating can be a nerve wracking experience. What’s the other person like? Will you hit it off? Will you have anything in common? What will you wear? Do you look okay? How fancy is the restaurant? What should you eat?

That’s a lot to worry about, not to mention if you’re an individual living with incontinence! Don’t let it get you down. Being prepared, and keeping a few tips in mind, can help take the stress out of the situation and let you confidently enjoy dating…and maybe even have some fun, which is the point of it all, isn’t it?

Be Prepared

Planning ahead and being prepared is half the battle. Ensure that you pack adequate changing, cleaning, and disposal supplies. Many absorbent pads come in small wrapped packages that can conveniently fit inside a pocket or purse.  There are also products that have odor-preventing features which can help you avoid any potentially embarrassing smells, however carrying a small amount of perfume or cologne is a good idea, if not only to help you smell good (just be careful not to overdo it!)  

Be Familiar with your Surroundings

If possible, suggest a restaurant or café that you’re familiar with so that you know where the bathrooms are. This will allow you to easily and conveniently excuse yourself to go to the washroom to change. Another thing to do is double voiding (emptying the bladder twice, 10-15 minutes apart) before your date, which can help you avoid having to frequent the bathroom too often. If you’re stressed about having a severe episode of incontinence, have an escape plan ready. Have a nearby location available where you can take the time to properly clean and change yourself. It’s okay to have a cover story and bring it up early on in the date. Something as simple as texting a friend to give you a call pretending to be a relative who needs to be picked up from the hospital will work fine. Just make sure you let your date know that you’re not ditching him/her and that you would love to have a second date another time (or if you’re not into them, you can simply escape!).

Be Confident

Confidence is attractive! Not only should you be confident for your date, you should be confident in your ability to manage incontinence. You don’t need to bring it up during the date if you don’t want to, and should only bring it up if you feel comfortable doing so. Remember, incontinence is a physiological condition and is nothing to be embarrassed about, just as a person with a severe nut allergy wouldn’t be embarrassed to ask if a dessert contains peanuts.

Be Comfortable

Depending on the severity of your incontinence, there are a large variety of products available. Choose one that you feel comfortable in and isn’t noticeably visible under your pants. If you are required to wear absorbent underwear or an adult diaper rustling sounds can be a concern. Be sure to wear a product that has a cloth-like backing to keep any potential noise to a minimum.  If you plan on doing any physical activities like dancing, bowling, or mini-putting, research products that are designed for active individuals. Wearing the right product in the right size will help you forget you’re even wearing it!

These tips should help you have a fun an enjoyable date. Lastly, remember that your date is looking to get to know you, and if you hit it off with them, the fact that you live with incontinence shouldn’t be a big deal. 


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How to Talk to your Daughter about Incontinence

10/28/2013

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Talking with your daughter about her incontinence may not be a conversation she is comfortable with, nor a conversation that you are keen to have, but it is necessary.  Managing this condition is only going to become more difficult for her, so the more support you can give her the better off she will be. 

Here are a few key tips that may help you when discussing your daughter’s incontinence with her.

Be Patient Don’t let stress from work or the home come into this conversation.  If you become irritated with your daughter, you may limit how openly she is willing to talk about this sensitive and potentially embarrassing issue in her life.  If you think your partner would be better suited to having this conversation with her, then by all means, let him or her.  This is not a popularity competition, so doing what makes your daughter feel the most comfortable and secure about the issue should take priority.

Don’t Lead the Conversation towards Diapers Though adult diapers and other incontinence products will help both of you, bringing them up every time you and your child talk is never a good idea. In fact, if you’re discussing incontinence for the first time, the goal and content of your conversation should be about informing your child about the prevalence of the problem and to persuade them into going to the doctor with you for a medical evaluation.

Read as Much as You Can about Incontinence There is a vast amount of literature online and offline about incontinence.  Read as much as you can on the topic so that you can provide the answers your daughter is looking for. If you get stumped at any point, be truthful and admit that you don’t know about it but are willing to research it with her.

Be Sympathetic Most parents, especially dads, can appear a little less caring while discussing this issue since they believe that sympathy is for the weak. However, you need to keep in mind that your daughter is opening up to you because they trust you and want your help. If you aren’t the least bit sympathetic to their situation, they may close up and refuse to discuss their condition. So, show sympathy throughout the conversation, avoid making any kind of jokes, and be careful of your choice of words around your daughter.

If you daughter gets confrontational, avoid a fight with her, as she needs you in this time of need.   Be sympathetic, empathetic and well-informed to help her manage her incontinence. 

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How to Handle Incontinence during Summer Camps

7/17/2013

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Ten million children a year head to summer camps to meet new people, experience new things, challenge themselves and enjoy a change of scenery. However, teenagers suffering from urinary or bowel movement incontinence may not take part because they’re embarrassed of their condition. On the other hand, some parents may be too worried that their children will be mocked if someone found out.

Whether you’re a teen or a parent, you need to understand one thing: incontinence isn’t the end of the road. It is an issue but it is easily manageable with the help of certain measures taken by the sufferers and their parents.

What a Parent Should Do You have the option of putting your child through a special summer camp that deals with children suffering from incontinence. However, this isn’t always a solution since you need to help your teen live with this issue for years to come. Besides, if your child is sensitive about their condition, they may feel as if they’re standing out from the rest.

So, if you go for a regular camping experience, here are the steps you should follow:

1.       Before the camp session starts, head to the camp with your child and check out its facilities. You should also check the sleeping arrangements as well as their proximity to the bathrooms.

2.       Ask the instructors if they ever handled children suffering from teen incontinence. Also, discuss your child’s needs with them so that they know what to do. However, inform your teen that you will be taking this step and explain that it is for their own good using the right reasons.

3.       Talk to your teenager’s physician and see if they recommend the use of any oral medicines. However, take this step at least a month before shipping your kid to camp to see if the meds actually work or not.

4.       Pack the essentials your child would need during their camping session. Make sure to include incontinence disposable products and three pairs of underwear for each day they spend in camp. Also, don’t forget to add additional clothes and a flashlight so that your child can make their way to the bathroom without waking anyone else.

5.       Teach your child how to discreetly clean after themselves and dispose of any products they use.

Whatever you do, make sure to talk to your teen about each of these steps. You should also soothe them because they’ll be tense about going to a regular camp, especially if this is their first time.

What a Teen Should Do Though your parents may take care of most of your needs, it is your responsibility as well to make sure that things go smoothly at camp. Here are some tips to help you have a fun summer at camp minus any awkwardness:

·         Before heading to camp, start practicing how to control your bladder or bowel movements for a longer time. You should also double-check whether or not your parents have packed everything you will need over the new few weeks.

·         Before sleeping, make sure to secretly have everything you may need at night in case you don’t make it to the bathroom on time. For example, you will need a plastic bag to dispose of your wet underwear or incontinence products.

·         In the absence of your parents, your counselor is in charge of you. So, be open to them and share with them if you ever need anything.

·         Make sure that you have plenty of wet wipes and other hygiene products on you so that you can easily clean yourself and ensure that the smell doesn’t reach the others.

·         Don’t think too much about your predicament or else you won’t have fun or be able to make friends while at camp.

So, parents and teenagers, make sure to abide by these simple steps and tips to get the most out of summer camps. 


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managing incontinence during sports

7/17/2013

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Playing sports or managing P.E. lessons can be very difficult for teen incontinence sufferers. The exertion you put on your bowels or bladder is bound to make them leak a little. However, at your age, even a few drops can make you conscious, especially since you feel that you’re surrounded by other teens with x-ray vision or extremely sensitive noses. 

If these thoughts worry you and are forcing you to stop playing your favorite sport altogether, it will be hard to get rid of them so quickly. However, here’s a suggestion: be ready for these accidents. If you’re prepared, you won’t have to worry about someone finding out about your incontinence issues. So, here’s how you can enjoy your P.E. periods and any sports you play without a single care in the world.

Control Your Fluid Intake You can take as many fluids as you want while you exercise so that you don’t end up dehydrating. However, try reducing the amount of fluids you consume before a game or sports class. As you already know, you need 5-6 cups during school, so you can try having two before P.E. and the remaining three or four afterwards. Yet this isn’t a hard and fast rule, so find out on your own how much water you can retain without having an accident.

Visit the Bathroom before You Start Before class, make sure to head to the bathroom and empty your bladder or bowels. This is especially important if you’re taking part in a game. Regardless, double void (empty your bladder or bowel once, wait a few seconds, and then go at it again). Doing so will ensure that you don’t get the urge to go to the bathroom later on.

Discover Your Options for Protection If you’re a major player in your school’s sports team, all the pressure you receive can cause stress urinary incontinence. However, because you always have people around you, you may need to be a little careful. In this case, you should ask your doctor if they recommend urethral inserts. If you’re a girl, you can also go for a tampon since it too can support your bladder and stop your urethra from leaking urine. Yet, CONSULT WITH YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE YOU GET ONE.

If your doctor advises against these measures, ask them to recommend less conspicuous incontinence products. There are numerous absorbent products which aren’t bulky or uncomfortable, and a good number of these can be perfect for sports.

Exercise Your Pelvic Floor Muscles Basically, what you need to do is start practicing holding your urine and feces so that they don’t slip out. Though it isn’t a simple process, a lot of practice and time will make you perfect at it. Simply schedule your bathroom visits and avoid going otherwise. You can also learn Kegel exercises as they have worked miracles for incontinence sufferers. Ask your physician about these so that you can start before your next game or P.E. class.

Remember and follow these tips to get the best experience while playing sports and to help your body receive the workout it needs to fight incontinence.


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tips for managing incontinence at school

7/17/2013

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Going to school can be a challenge for any teen suffering from incontinence. After all, there are hundreds of students on campus and some bullies can taunt you to tears. However, you don’t have to worry about anyone finding out about you at school, especially once you’re done reading the following seven tips for managing incontinence at school.

Make Sure Your Teachers Know About You Your teachers at school are responsible for your well-being, so they need to know if something is wrong beforehand. Telling your teachers will also ensure that they don’t try stopping you from going to the bathroom on time. If you can’t handle this task yourself, ask your parent to do it for you. However, as a growing adult, you should take on this responsibility yourself and be confident while discussing the issue.

Take Care of What You Wear to School Sometimes, teens end up soiling themselves despite reaching the bathroom on time. This usually occurs because they spend precious seconds fumbling with zips and buttons on their pants or skirts. If this has happened to you too, you need to consider choosing clothing that simply pulls off. Even if you have to wear a specific uniform, you can ask the head of your school for permission to make your uniform easy to pull down so that you can avoid any mishaps.

Don’t Avoid P.E. Just Because You’re Worried about Changing in Front of Others Sports periods are a hassle for teen incontinence sufferers. However, by avoiding those, you won’t be able to improve your incontinence and may even gain a reputation for being wimpy. Instead, what you can do is talk to your P.E. teacher and inform them about your situation. By doing so, they’ll make sure that you get to use the bathroom whenever you need it and that you can change easily before the rest of your classmates reach the locker rooms.

Use Incontinence Products One of the easiest ways of getting through the school day without facing an accident is using incontinence products. Now this doesn’t necessarily mean adult diapers! There are hundreds of products available online as well as at physical stores that you can choose from. For example, there are specific types of underwear which have a pouch-like addition for you to add a pad. This way you won’t feel bulky and still be safe while at school.

Be Prepared at All Times Just in case your clothes get messy or the pads you’re using are soiled, you need to have extras on you. You can always keep an extra pair of slacks and underwear in a zipped compartment in your bag. On the other hand, you can keep an extra of everything hidden in your locker. If you’re worried about anyone asking, you can always say that you keep extra clothes in case you need to go somewhere after school.

Don’t EVER Drink or Eat Less; Control Your Intake Instead Never cut down your fluid intake or else you’ll develop infections or problems like dehydration. Instead, manage your liquid intake to be around 5-6 cups during the day. Similarly, don’t avoid eating to control your bowel movements or else you may end up constipated and in more pain. Also, make sure you regulate your toilet breaks so that you can relieve your bladder or bowels before they give way.

With these tips, you will be able to easily manage your incontinence issues while at school. However, remember to discuss these with your parents beforehand so that they can guide you.

 

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