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Dating while incontinent

2/26/2014

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Dating can be a nerve wracking experience. What’s the other person like? Will you hit it off? Will you have anything in common? What will you wear? Do you look okay? How fancy is the restaurant? What should you eat?

That’s a lot to worry about, not to mention if you’re an individual living with incontinence! Don’t let it get you down. Being prepared, and keeping a few tips in mind, can help take the stress out of the situation and let you confidently enjoy dating…and maybe even have some fun, which is the point of it all, isn’t it?

Be Prepared

Planning ahead and being prepared is half the battle. Ensure that you pack adequate changing, cleaning, and disposal supplies. Many absorbent pads come in small wrapped packages that can conveniently fit inside a pocket or purse.  There are also products that have odor-preventing features which can help you avoid any potentially embarrassing smells, however carrying a small amount of perfume or cologne is a good idea, if not only to help you smell good (just be careful not to overdo it!)  

Be Familiar with your Surroundings

If possible, suggest a restaurant or café that you’re familiar with so that you know where the bathrooms are. This will allow you to easily and conveniently excuse yourself to go to the washroom to change. Another thing to do is double voiding (emptying the bladder twice, 10-15 minutes apart) before your date, which can help you avoid having to frequent the bathroom too often. If you’re stressed about having a severe episode of incontinence, have an escape plan ready. Have a nearby location available where you can take the time to properly clean and change yourself. It’s okay to have a cover story and bring it up early on in the date. Something as simple as texting a friend to give you a call pretending to be a relative who needs to be picked up from the hospital will work fine. Just make sure you let your date know that you’re not ditching him/her and that you would love to have a second date another time (or if you’re not into them, you can simply escape!).

Be Confident

Confidence is attractive! Not only should you be confident for your date, you should be confident in your ability to manage incontinence. You don’t need to bring it up during the date if you don’t want to, and should only bring it up if you feel comfortable doing so. Remember, incontinence is a physiological condition and is nothing to be embarrassed about, just as a person with a severe nut allergy wouldn’t be embarrassed to ask if a dessert contains peanuts.

Be Comfortable

Depending on the severity of your incontinence, there are a large variety of products available. Choose one that you feel comfortable in and isn’t noticeably visible under your pants. If you are required to wear absorbent underwear or an adult diaper rustling sounds can be a concern. Be sure to wear a product that has a cloth-like backing to keep any potential noise to a minimum.  If you plan on doing any physical activities like dancing, bowling, or mini-putting, research products that are designed for active individuals. Wearing the right product in the right size will help you forget you’re even wearing it!

These tips should help you have a fun an enjoyable date. Lastly, remember that your date is looking to get to know you, and if you hit it off with them, the fact that you live with incontinence shouldn’t be a big deal. 


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How to handle sleepovers

7/17/2013

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 ... Always remember that you should trust at least one of your closest friends so that you can bear the weight of this issue easily..."
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Joining your friends for a sleepover or having one at your place is definitely fun and bound to boost your popularity among other friends. However, if you’re suffering from teen incontinence, having or being part of a sleepover is the last thing you want to do. After all, what will your friends think of you if they ever found out? 

For starters, it’s always best to tell your closest friends about this issue, but that’s another discussion altogether. Yet, it’s not always that easy to take this step, especially if the next sleepover is taking place very soon. So, here are some tips to help you get through a sleepover without anyone finding out.

·         Since you’re a young adult now, you should take it on yourself to set a few trials at home before the actual sleepover. You may need the help of your parents, but at least you’ll be prepared for any sleepover and gain more control over your bladder or bowel movements.

·         Learn how you can clean after yourself discretely. Again, your parents will be able to teach you how, so ask them to do so before you start your self-training session. This will give you more confidence and ensure that you easily tackle your problem.

·         To avoid making a visible mess, suggest everyone to bring their own sleeping bag as this will give the sleepover a camp-like feel. Some of your friends will love this idea and you can probably sell it to the rest by making them a few offers they can’t refuse, such as using your new video game console as much as they want.

·         Just in case, learn how to use incontinence products, such as bed pads, in a discreet way. Find out which ones offer you the best protection and discover how you can secretly dispose of them before anyone finds out. A few helpful ideas are setting your alarm a little early or having your parent or BFF distract the rest while you smuggle these products to the trash.

·         If you’re sleeping over at friend’s place, spend a few minutes learning about your surroundings and where the closest bathroom is. You may also need to pack a flashlight so that you don’t have to switch many lights on your way to the bathroom. Other essentials you should have in your overnight bag are plastic bags for disposing of soiled underwear and disposable incontinence products, wipes to reduce any smells, and extra clothing.

·         If you have been going to a physician to help you with your incontinence issues, you can ask if you’re eligible to start medication. If your doctor prescribes any medication, make sure that you start taking it a few days before your upcoming sleepover. Doing so will help you assess whether or not they actually work.

These tips will be more effective than forcing yourself to empty your bladder and bowels every time. So, remember and follow them if you want to keep your condition a secret. However, always remember that you should trust at least one of your closest friends so that you can bear the weight of this issue easily and be able to face the rest of the world with confidence.

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How to Handle Incontinence during Summer Camps

7/17/2013

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Ten million children a year head to summer camps to meet new people, experience new things, challenge themselves and enjoy a change of scenery. However, teenagers suffering from urinary or bowel movement incontinence may not take part because they’re embarrassed of their condition. On the other hand, some parents may be too worried that their children will be mocked if someone found out.

Whether you’re a teen or a parent, you need to understand one thing: incontinence isn’t the end of the road. It is an issue but it is easily manageable with the help of certain measures taken by the sufferers and their parents.

What a Parent Should Do You have the option of putting your child through a special summer camp that deals with children suffering from incontinence. However, this isn’t always a solution since you need to help your teen live with this issue for years to come. Besides, if your child is sensitive about their condition, they may feel as if they’re standing out from the rest.

So, if you go for a regular camping experience, here are the steps you should follow:

1.       Before the camp session starts, head to the camp with your child and check out its facilities. You should also check the sleeping arrangements as well as their proximity to the bathrooms.

2.       Ask the instructors if they ever handled children suffering from teen incontinence. Also, discuss your child’s needs with them so that they know what to do. However, inform your teen that you will be taking this step and explain that it is for their own good using the right reasons.

3.       Talk to your teenager’s physician and see if they recommend the use of any oral medicines. However, take this step at least a month before shipping your kid to camp to see if the meds actually work or not.

4.       Pack the essentials your child would need during their camping session. Make sure to include incontinence disposable products and three pairs of underwear for each day they spend in camp. Also, don’t forget to add additional clothes and a flashlight so that your child can make their way to the bathroom without waking anyone else.

5.       Teach your child how to discreetly clean after themselves and dispose of any products they use.

Whatever you do, make sure to talk to your teen about each of these steps. You should also soothe them because they’ll be tense about going to a regular camp, especially if this is their first time.

What a Teen Should Do Though your parents may take care of most of your needs, it is your responsibility as well to make sure that things go smoothly at camp. Here are some tips to help you have a fun summer at camp minus any awkwardness:

·         Before heading to camp, start practicing how to control your bladder or bowel movements for a longer time. You should also double-check whether or not your parents have packed everything you will need over the new few weeks.

·         Before sleeping, make sure to secretly have everything you may need at night in case you don’t make it to the bathroom on time. For example, you will need a plastic bag to dispose of your wet underwear or incontinence products.

·         In the absence of your parents, your counselor is in charge of you. So, be open to them and share with them if you ever need anything.

·         Make sure that you have plenty of wet wipes and other hygiene products on you so that you can easily clean yourself and ensure that the smell doesn’t reach the others.

·         Don’t think too much about your predicament or else you won’t have fun or be able to make friends while at camp.

So, parents and teenagers, make sure to abide by these simple steps and tips to get the most out of summer camps. 


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Feminine Hygiene Pads Aren't Enough to Manage Your Daughter’s Incontinence

7/17/2013

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As the parent of a teenage girl diagnosed with teen incontinence, you may have been investing in feminine hygiene pads. However, what you may not know is that these pads are not enough for your daughter. In fact, if she is susceptible to excreting a large amount of urine or feces, she is bound to end up with a big mess. Besides, not changing this pad regularly can cause her to develop numerous health issues due to the germs of both excretions.

Therefore, if you want to provide your teen with the most protection while ensuring her health, you need to consider other incontinence products designed for her gender. Here are three you should consider for her instead.

Incontinence Underwear There are two types of incontinence panties for girls: disposable and washable. Disposable ones are usually made of plastic and come with incontinence pads that differ in size depending on how heavily your daughter’s incontinence excretions are. On the other hand, washable incontinence underwear looks the same as regular underwear but includes a moisture resistant pouch where your daughter will place the absorbent liner.  Again, the size of the liner will depend on how much control your daughter has on her bladder or bowel movements.

Special Incontinence Pads They look just like a normal feminine hygiene pad, but these are usually longer and thicker to absorb quickly. In addition, they are more expensive, which can deter many parents from investing in them if they’re on tight budgets. However, compare a few extra dollars to the cost of numerous gynecologist visits and you will definitely choose to go for incontinence pads. These aside, only go for this option if your daughter doesn’t suffer from heavy incontinence and causes a big mess.

Tampons and Vaginal Inserts Another option girls should consider is using tampons and prescribed vaginal inserts. These put pressure on the bladder to ensure fewer accidents. In addition, many companies claim that these products can help cure your little princess from incontinence by helping the pelvic floor muscles regain their strength. However, before you hurry up and buy these, you need to consult with your daughter’s physician first. These products don’t always suit everyone, especially girls under 15. So, don’t take any step without checking with the doctor.

Now all of these are products which your daughter can use round the clock. However, if you want to reduce the chances of any accidents, you need to make sure that she takes extra measures at school and during sports. Once at home, you can help her manage incontinence (especially at night) using waterproof bedding and other products which can reduce your laundry efforts.

Another important thing you should teach her is how to dispose of these discreetly, especially when she’s out with friends or having a sleepover. This is why there are so many guides on this site to help you with this aspect.

Finally, whichever product you choose, make sure that it gels well with your daughter as well since she has to use it and not you. Besides, taking her opinion will give her self-esteem a much needed boost, especially since teen incontinence may have robbed her of it. So, follow all of this information religiously so that both you and your daughter can enjoy a peaceful, uneven

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Telling Friends about Incontinence

7/17/2013

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Telling anyone about your urinary or bowel movement incontinence may be the last thing on your mind. After all, you never know how people may perceive this issue and react to it. However, there will be times when you’d need to tell someone, especially since you’re still going to school and don’t have your parents morally supporting you there.

Now before you start reading how you can talk to your friends about incontinence, you need to prepare yourself first. Start by practicing what you’d say in front of the mirror, your parent or an older sibling. The latter two options will be more feasible since you can always bounce ideas off them. Another thing you should do is keep assuring yourself that this is no fault of yours. This is important because if you falter or look guilty while telling your friends, they may believe that you did something to cause it.

Once you’re done with these, follow these tips to let your friends in on your big secret.

Do Your Research Despite suffering from teen incontinence, even you don’t know everything there is. So, start learning more about this issue in case someone asks you a question. The more you know about incontinence and its types, the better you’ll be able to explain it to your friends. Besides, knowing about your condition will guarantee you the confidence you need while telling your friends. 

Be Confident Confidence is one of the important factors for easily telling your friends about incontinence. If it shows through your posture and speech, you can rest assured that no one will make jokes. In addition, confidence guarantees respect, which is what you deserve for taking such a major step.

Explain that Incontinence Doesn’t Require Diapers Even you may have thought that incontinence required diapers until it hit you. So, you can’t expect your friends not to think the same. While some may bluntly ask if you’re wearing adult diapers, others with a little extra tact may keep their thoughts to themselves. In both cases, make sure to be calm while explaining that incontinence has a wider range of products that is hardly limited to diapers.

Be Serious but Don’t Act as if it’s a Big Deal In 89% of such situations, it’s best if you stay serious but not act as if it’s the end of the world. This will show your friends that this isn’t a major ailment and that it won’t change who you are or what you do. Besides, in many cases, incontinence can be reversible. So, make sure to focus on this point and mention it in your discussion.

These are the main tips you should follow to tell your friends about your bladder or bowel movement incontinence. However, keep in mind that they won’t always work with everyone. You must even be ready to lose friends in the process. Yet, keep in mind that had your friendship been true, they would have overlooked such a small detail. So, be prepared for the worst and focus on valuing the friends who accept you with open arms. 


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Talking to Your Parents about Incontinence

7/17/2013

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If you’ve noticed that your underwear has traces of feces or drops of urine or if you’re having trouble controlling your bladder or bowels at night, there’s a good chance that you have googled your symptoms and came up with incontinence. 

First of all, calm down; this is a common issue now with over 1 in 10 people suffering from it. Besides, there are numerous ways that can help you reduce the number of accidents you experience. So, you don’t have to rely on incontinence products (which aren’t limited to diapers) forever. However, you can’t keep this information to yourself. Regardless of how embarrassed you feel, you need to have your parents involved.

“Why Should I Talk to My Parents?” Talking to your parents is important because you need moral support during this tough time. In addition, you will need someone to help make your trips to the doctor less stressful. If you think you can take these on yourself, here’s one thing you may not be able to do on your own: talk to your teachers to take it easy on you and not forbid you from going to the bathroom on time.

“How Should I Pull This Off?” If you’re sold to the idea of telling your parents that you have an issue that needs their attention, here is how you can tell them about your incontinence:

·         Choose the Right Time – You need a quiet time to drop this bomb on your parents. After all, you are their baby regardless of whether you’re 13 or 30. Therefore, avoid talking to them right after work or while you’re sharing a meal. Instead, ask them when would be the best time for you guys to talk.

·         Be Serious and Concerned – As a young adult, you may take pride in acting aloof at times. However, this is not one of those times. For your parents to take you seriously, you need to let your concern appear on the surface. In addition, you should avoid jokes or else they’ll believe it’s a one-time issue or, worse, that you’re lying.

·         Be Truthful – Always tell the truth to your parents. After all, they are going to be talking with your physician most of the time and trying to find a solution for your issue. If you lie to them, they are bound to give your doctor the wrong information and put you through numerous trials which may delay your healing process.

·         Expect Anger – Anger can be the first emotion your parents experience when they hear about your issue. However, you need to understand that this anger isn’t at you; it’s for you. As their beloved child, they have tried their best to ensure that you stay safe from everything, but they may feel as if they failed if they don’t have any information on this issue. So, don’t get angry; instead be supportive. You can also help by sharing what you have read about this condition so that they can be a little at ease. 

·         Show Your Parents that You Need Them – Just sharing the news with your parents may not be enough; you need to be subtle and say that you need their support and help to manage this issue.

Even if you feel that your parents don’t care or if they’re too hassled as is to bear with your bad news, you need to keep them in the loop. So, if you haven’t told your parents already, do so right away so that you can get the medical attention and moral support you need. 


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tips for managing incontinence at school

7/17/2013

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Going to school can be a challenge for any teen suffering from incontinence. After all, there are hundreds of students on campus and some bullies can taunt you to tears. However, you don’t have to worry about anyone finding out about you at school, especially once you’re done reading the following seven tips for managing incontinence at school.

Make Sure Your Teachers Know About You Your teachers at school are responsible for your well-being, so they need to know if something is wrong beforehand. Telling your teachers will also ensure that they don’t try stopping you from going to the bathroom on time. If you can’t handle this task yourself, ask your parent to do it for you. However, as a growing adult, you should take on this responsibility yourself and be confident while discussing the issue.

Take Care of What You Wear to School Sometimes, teens end up soiling themselves despite reaching the bathroom on time. This usually occurs because they spend precious seconds fumbling with zips and buttons on their pants or skirts. If this has happened to you too, you need to consider choosing clothing that simply pulls off. Even if you have to wear a specific uniform, you can ask the head of your school for permission to make your uniform easy to pull down so that you can avoid any mishaps.

Don’t Avoid P.E. Just Because You’re Worried about Changing in Front of Others Sports periods are a hassle for teen incontinence sufferers. However, by avoiding those, you won’t be able to improve your incontinence and may even gain a reputation for being wimpy. Instead, what you can do is talk to your P.E. teacher and inform them about your situation. By doing so, they’ll make sure that you get to use the bathroom whenever you need it and that you can change easily before the rest of your classmates reach the locker rooms.

Use Incontinence Products One of the easiest ways of getting through the school day without facing an accident is using incontinence products. Now this doesn’t necessarily mean adult diapers! There are hundreds of products available online as well as at physical stores that you can choose from. For example, there are specific types of underwear which have a pouch-like addition for you to add a pad. This way you won’t feel bulky and still be safe while at school.

Be Prepared at All Times Just in case your clothes get messy or the pads you’re using are soiled, you need to have extras on you. You can always keep an extra pair of slacks and underwear in a zipped compartment in your bag. On the other hand, you can keep an extra of everything hidden in your locker. If you’re worried about anyone asking, you can always say that you keep extra clothes in case you need to go somewhere after school.

Don’t EVER Drink or Eat Less; Control Your Intake Instead Never cut down your fluid intake or else you’ll develop infections or problems like dehydration. Instead, manage your liquid intake to be around 5-6 cups during the day. Similarly, don’t avoid eating to control your bowel movements or else you may end up constipated and in more pain. Also, make sure you regulate your toilet breaks so that you can relieve your bladder or bowels before they give way.

With these tips, you will be able to easily manage your incontinence issues while at school. However, remember to discuss these with your parents beforehand so that they can guide you.

 

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How To talk To your Teen About Incontinence

7/17/2013

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Unlike other health issues, incontinence (the inability to control urine or bowel motion) has the biggest effect on teenagers’ psyche. After all, most teens believe that this issue is limited to the frail elderly. Besides, if any of their friends or schoolmates found out, they are bound to be teased relentlessly until they graduate high school. Therefore, as a parent, you need to show your support during this tough time, especially since they will need a non-judgmental ear to share with.

However, as you probably know, teenagers are a little tricky to handle and talk to at times. So, here are five tips to help you become the first person your child turns to for advice.

#1) Stay Calm At All Times - With a busy schedule at work and a lot of cleaning up after your kid at home, it is very easy for you to get hassled and lash out. However, if you lose your temper even once, you are bound to close all the doors to communicating with your teen. So, if you’re prone to feeling that this issue is unsanitary and problematic, get someone (preferably your spouse or an older child) to help you either by talking to your kid or cleaning up their messes.

#2) Don’t Lead the Conversation towards Diapers Every Time Though adult diapers and other incontinence products will help both of you, bringing them up every time you and your child talk is never a good idea. In fact, if you’re discussing incontinence for the first time, your whole conversation should be to inform your child about the problem and coax them gently to go to the doctor with you for a medical evaluation. After your initial talks, keep your conversations on this topic light and tell your kid that you’re open and available to talk about this issue whenever they want.

#3) Pick the Right Timing for Your Discussions This is one of the awkward conversations which your teen may try to weasel out of. However, you can make this discussion beneficial for both of you while doing something your teen enjoys, such as fishing or taking long drives. In fact, go for activities which don’t require eye contact so that your child never feels that they’re under scrutiny. So, plan something fun, even at home, if you intend to bring the topic of urinary incontinence or bowel movement incontinence with your teenager.

#4) Always be Sympathetic Most parents, especially dads, can appear a little less caring while discussing this issue since they believe that sympathy is for the weak. However, you need to keep in mind that your teen is opening up to you because they trust you and want your help. If you aren’t the least bit sympathetic to their problem, they are bound to close up and spiral into depression. So, show sympathy throughout the conversation, avoid making any kind of jokes, and be careful of your choice of words around your teen.

#5) Avoid Letting Any of These Slip Out of Your Lips There are a few things which you should never say in front of your teen, such as the following:

·         “I am so sick of cleaning up after you. Wear your diapers already!”

·         “Why can’t you control yourself?!”

·         “Why are you punishing me like this?”

·         “No more liquids for you from now on!”

·         “I’m so embarrassed by you. I can’t take you anywhere.”

·         “You’re going to wear/use incontinence products your whole life.”

Anything along these lines will hurt your teenager’s already fragile feelings, so avoid them at all costs if you don’t want a rift between you and your child.

So, remember these tips at all costs so that you can easily communicate with your child and discuss teen incontinence with ease. 


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